charlotte

uni stuff

4 days ago with 1 note

ewww my ears are so blocked and gross I feel gross but I had soup and bread and cheese for brunch despite not having any appetite so I feel Proud Of That and I asked my dad to bring home eucalyptus type shit and my totoro dvd arrived and so did ‘fuck I’m in my 20s’ and it’s an ok day I just feel SO ILL jkfdgkflkd

also I had a dream I married daenerys and the whole dream was totally cinematic and fab

6 days ago with 0 notes

concerned that my mum has ovarian cancer (sigh)

there’s fam, history of ovarian/breast (great aunt died of ovarian; my gran survived breast cancer; my mum had breast cancer last year) and I don’t think my mum’s ever been checked for ovarian which seems like a massive fucking oversight???

but she has hip pain rn whjch can be a symptom of bone cancer but breast cancer is far more likely to metastasise to the bone. and they said she was cancer-free. pelvic pain can also be a symptom of ovarian cancer. it could of course be non-cancerous pain! but with our family history i’d rather she didn’t take any chances and she is consistently shit at taking her own health seriously

I seriously want an oophorectomy asap

1 week ago with 3 notes

my new cats are a lot calmer at this point than my old cat (rip) was at this point, they’re already sitting on everyone’s laps and making nuisances of themselves by scratching the furniture

fern keeps sort of miaowing when she’s on her own which I’m assuming is like, a ‘reassure meeee’ type thing b/c I brought her up to my room and snoozed on my pillow perfectly happily

henry just got off my lap (he was kneading me and his claws are so sharp omfg) and is now sitting on the sofa

they’re so cute together, they were just licking each others faces ;_;

4 weeks ago with 3 notes

I have been so fucking on point today omfg I am so great today!! KILLING IT

went to the doctor, got two months worth of pills which means a) she thinks I’m doing well enough to have 2 months of them (even though you can’t overdose very well on citalopram but like she has been cagey before) and b) I got more pills for the prescription charge

also she told me that I seem to be d oing really well and whenever anyone praises me I just fall in lvoe with them so

suffice to say I am now in love with doctor boyd

also me and ben sorted things out properly last night and I’m really happy about it and we both kind of got all teary and it was embarrassing and I love him ooh noooooo

ALSO I went to the student accounts bit and got that all sorted - they are giving me an extra week to get the money in and not threatening me at all w/ sanctions I’m so happy it is such a weight off my mind omfg

and I picked my options for next year and I picked ‘the anthropology of sexuality’, ‘child language acquisition’ (there were only TWO places left when I got there o m f g) and ‘contemporary issues in psychology’

exhausted by such productivity I’m going to ahve a nap

1 month ago with 3 notes

also I only have one anti-depressant left and I don’t have a doctor appt until monday ugh

1 month ago with 2 notes

ugh so my tesco stuff finally arrived (+)

but they substituted my sweeet potato salad for fucking tuna and I literally hope all fish dies so I never have to see an edible version of it ever again. I fucking cannot stand tuna?? and I hate making a fuss when they tell me about subs so I’m always just like yis thats fine AND IT NEVER IS (-)

so basically have left a note for my housemates like

does anyone like tuna WELL GOOD NEWS bc free tuna

1 month ago with 1 note

ok I’m not like wary of waking ben up anymore so I can type like a motherfucker (at least until the tesco dude gets here)

I got my coursework in for approaches to grammar which had been hanging over me for weeks so really really glad about that

(we’ll just ignore the fact that there’s an exam next week shall we ok good)

I’m just so stressed b/c I got a letter saying if I don’t pay 800 pounds worth of rent by the 19th then I’ll get kicked out ???????? Ben says this is probably a scare tactic and Erin agreed but like god I’m fucking panicked over it

the money isn’t actually an issue, really - my mum’s transferring some of her savings but fuck knows if they’ll be in her account in time. I’ve got an appt at the student life centre on monday so I can explain the situation which is basically ‘YES WE HAVE THE MONEY YES YOU CAN HAVE IT NO I DON’T KNOW EXACTLY WHEN I FUCKING HOPE BY THE 19TH THOUGH’

like ughhh.

1 month ago with 0 notes

ben woke up and made me tell him what I was worrying about it’s so ridiculous

‘tell me what you’re anxious about’
‘I’m really ok ben’
‘WELL YOU’RE OBVIOUSLY NOT…………’

I love him

he’s gone back to sleep now I think, trying to type quietly

1 month ago with 0 notes

Anonymous: did you have an ed?

this is probably one of the subjects I’m most uncomfortable with, because i am far too fat to be assocated with the term. however i know that sort of thinking is in itself really really flawed - most bulimics have an average or overweight bmi. not that bmi means jack shit, but it is an interesting statistic nonetheless. and obviously if you have an ed such as coe then you’re far more likely to be overweight than underweight

but yes my weight has fluctuated a hell of a lot over hte past 6/7 years

i was very restrictive when i was about 15 but have also been quite heavily into the b/p side of stuff (which was horrendous - do not recommend - swelled up like a bullfrog and felt like death, constantly)

but i don’t really think of food issues as like, separate from the rest of my whole self-loathing thing. i am p normal about food now, with some weird bits that aren’t so normal, but whatever. i just think it’s all part of the self-loathing business i have been employed in for the best part of 10 years haha

i am trying really hard to get out of that business

1 month ago with 0 notes